Irish Song Lyrics & More!

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THE SCOTSMAN:
A Scottsman clad in kilts, left a bar one evening fair
One could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Chorus:
Ring ding didle e eye eye de oh, Oh Ring die diddle eye oh...
Last line of verse......

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by
One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye
Oh see young sleeping Scotsman, so young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilts

Chorus:

They stepped up to that Scotsman, so young and fancy free
They lifted up his kilt above the waist so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Twas nothing more than God had blessed him with upon his birth.
Chorus: They marveled for a moment, then one said "Let's be gone."
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonny star that Scott's kilt lifting showed.

Chorus:

The Scott awoke to nature's call and stumbled to the trees,
Behind a bush he lift's his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
Ach Lad, I dinna know where you been, but I see you won 1st prize.

Chorus:

WHISKEY YOU'RE THE DEVIL:
CHORUS
Aye whiskey you're the devil,You're leading me astray
Over hills and mountains, Unto Americkay
You're sweeter stronger decenter, You're spunkier than tea
Oh Whiskey, you're my darlin drunk or sober.

Oh, now brave boys we're off to marching
Off to Portugal and Spain, high above, the banners flying
The devil into our homes will come
Oh, love fare the well, with me tithery Idle doodle dum el die,
me tithery Idle doodle dum el die
Me right full, tour a laddie, Oh, there's whiskey in the jar.

CHORUS

The French are fighting boldly, Men are dying hot and coldly
Give everyman his flask of powder, his firelock on his shoulder
Oh, love fare the well, with me tithery Idle doodle dum el die,
me tithery Idle doodle dum el die
Me right full, tour a laddie, Oh, there's whiskey in the jar.

Chorus

Said mother, do not wrong me, Do not take my daughter from me,
For if you do, I will torment you and after death my ghost will haunt you.
Oh, love fare the well, with me tithery Idle doodle dum el die,
me tithery Idle doodle dum el die
Me right full, tour a laddie, Oh, there's whiskey in the jar.

Chorus

NOBODY'S MOGGY:
Somebody's Moggy, by the side of the road
Somebody's pussy, who forgot his highway code
Someone's favorite feline, who ran clean out of luck
When he ran into the road and tried to argue with a truck
Yesterday he purred and played in his pussy paradise
Decapitating tweety birds and masticating mice
Now he's just six pounds of raw mince meat what don't smell very nice.
He's nobody's moggy now.

All you who love your pussy, be sure to keep it in.
Don't let it argue with a truck. The truck is bound to win.
Out upon the busy highway, don't let him play or frollic
For if you do, I'm warning you, it could be cat-a-strophic.
If he tries to play on the road way, I'm afraid that will be that
There'll be one last dispairing' MEOW' and a sort of squelchy "splat."
And your pussy will be slightly dead, and very, very flat.
He's nobody's moggy, (all red and squished and soggy)
He's nobody's moggy now.

WILLIAM BLOAT: Copyrighted lyrics.
Not available for publication on the web.

DON'T PET THE DOG:
I'd much rather have a frog in my throat
than a porcupine stuck to my face.
And I'd much rather have a bug in my ear
Than a dog making love to my leg.

A girl asks you home to meet father and mother
She says that she thinks you are nice.
There's trouble ahead, you will wish you were dead
If you don't take this friendly advice.

Don't pet the dog. Don't pet him whatever you do.
He ain't been fixed and he knows some tricks
That'll sure make a fool out of you.
Don't pet the dog. He gets it confused with romance -
Just leave him alone or the next thing you know,
He'll be asking your ankle to dance.

Oh, you say it's O.K., try to push him away,
"What's his name?" "Does he sit up and beg?"
Ah, you try keeping cool, but you look like a fool
With a dog making love to your leg.

So, don't pet the dog He'll doodoo all over your shoes
He ain't been fixed - and he knows some tricks
That'll sure make a fool out of you.
Don't pet the dog. He gets it confused with romance -
Just leave him alone, or the next thing you know
He'll be asking your ankle to dance.
So...Don't pet the dog.

THE GERMAN CLOCKWINDER:
A German clockwinder to Dublin once came
Benjamin Fooks was the old German's name
And as he was winding his way round the strand
He played on his flute and the music was grand.

CHORUS:
Singing tour a loom a loom a, tour a loom looma,Tour a lie ay,
Tour a lie your a lie, your a lie ay.
Tour a loom a loom a, tour a loom looma,Tour a lie ay,
Tour a lie your a lie, your a lie ay.

There was an old lady in Grosenor Square
Who said that her clock was in need of repair
In walked the old German and to her delight
In less than five minutes, he had her clock right.

CHORUS

Now as they were sitting down there on the floor
There came a very loud knock on the door
In walked her husband and great was his shock
To see that old German wind up his wifes clock.

CHORUS

The husband said, "Now, look here Mary Ann
Don't let that old German come in here again.
He wound up your clock but left mine on the shelf
If your old clock needs winding, I'll wind it my self."

CHORUS

THE HOLY GROUND:
Fare thee well, my lovely Dina, A thousand times adieu.
For we're goin' away from the Holy Ground and the girls we all love true
We will sail the salt sea over, and we'll return for shore.
To see again the girls we love and the Holy Ground once more.
(Fine Girl You Are)

CHORUS
You're the girl I do adore
And still I live in hopes to see, the Holy Ground once more.
(Fine Girl You Are)

And now the storm is raging and we are far from shore,
And the good old ship is a tossing about and the rigging is all tore
And the secret of my mind, my love, you're the girl I do adore,
And still I live in hopes to see the Holy Ground once more.
(Fine Girl You Are)

And now the storm is over and we are safe and well
We will go into a public house and we'll sit and drink our fill
We will drink strong ale and porter and we'll make the rafters roar,
And when our money is all all spent, we will go to sea once more.
(Fine Girl You Are)

I THOUGHT I FOUND ATLANTIS: (In Portland, Oregon)
Chorus:
I thought I found Atlantis, but it's only Portland Town.
Old Noah left this morning, cause he didn't want to drown
I'm gonna go to Jacques Cousteau and ask him what I wish
How I can live in Portland town and not become a fish.

Oh the cops are so delightful, and they're never ever spiteful
As they find you in the gutter, full of gin.
The just tip their hats politely, as they gaze on you unsightly
And then offer you assistance with a grin.

Chorus:

Oh weekends are exciting, Broadway draggin's so inviting
It's a pleasure just to cruise along the street
And the girls around the city are so gosh almighty pretty
Ah the weekends, Hurrah what a treat.

Chorus:

And the town abounds in roses, and they tantalize the noses
Of the people as they go their merry way,
While a minstrel oh so witty, sings a song about the city
Pretty soon you'll hear everybody say.

Chorus:

THE JOLLY TINKER:
As I went down a shady lane at a door I chanced to knock.
Have you any pots or kettles with rusty holes to block?

Chorus:
Well, Indeed I have , don't you know I have
To -me-right-ful-oor-a-laddy, Well, Indeed I have.

The Misses came out to the door, & she asked me to come in
Say'n you're welcome jolly tinker & I hope you brought your tin.

Chorus: Well, Indeed I did................

She took me through the kitchen & she led me through the hall
& the servants cried, "the devil, has he come to block us all"

Chorus: Well, Indeed I have...............

She took me up the stairs me lads to show me what to do
& she fell on the feather bed & I fell on it too

Chorus: Well, Indeed I did..........

She then picked up the frying pan & she begin to knock
for to let the servants know, me lads, that I was at me work

Chorus: Well, Indeed I was................

She put her hand into her pocket and she pulled put 20 pound,
take this me jolly tinker & we'll have another round

Chorus: Well, Indeed we will..............

Well, I've been a jolly tinker for these 40 years or more
Oh, but such a lovely job as that - I never did before

Chorus: Well, Indeed I didn't..........
(And that's the truth??)

WHISKEY IN THE JAR:
I have been a rover, I have been a bold deceiver,
Out to make my living with my pistol and my rapier.
I don't know what I've stolen but it would make a pretty penny
And I nearly lost it all to my darlin' sporting Jenny.

CHORUS: (between each verse)
Wish a ring-a-ma-duram-a-da. (clap,clap, clap clap)
Whack-fol the daddy-O (Clap, Clap)
Whack-fol the daddy-O, there's whiskey in the jar.

As I was going over the Cork and Kerry Mountains,
I met with Colonel Farrow and his money he was countin'.
I first produced me pistols and then produced me rapier
Crying "Stand and deliver for I am the bold deceiver.

I robbed Colonel Farrow on those Cork and Kerry mountains
And I took the gold to Jenny for to help me with the counting.
She cried and she swore that she never would deceive me
But the devil take the women, for they never can be easy.

I went into my chamber, all for to take a slumber
And dream of gold and Jenny and of course it was no wonder
But Jenny called the guards and she threw away my rapier
Then she watered down my pistols and a prisoner I was taken.

They put me in the jail without a judge or writing
For robbing Colonel Farrow on those Cork and Kerry mountains.
But they didn't take my fists so I knocked the jailer down
And I bid a fond farewell to that jail in Sligo town.

I'd like to find my brother, he's the one who's in the army.
I don't know where he stationed be it Cork or in Killarny
Together we'd go roaming o're the mountains of Kilkenny
And I'm sure he'd treat me better than my darlin' sportin' Jenny

It was early in the morning at the barracks of Killarny
My brother took his leave, but he didn't tell the army
The horses were all saddled, t'was all over but the shouting
Now we wait for Colonel Farrow up on Kilgarry mountain
.
Now some take delight in the fishing and in bowling
And others take delight in the carriages a rolling.
But I take delight in the juice of the barley
And courtin' pretty girls in the morning oh so early.

SIDE BY SIDE:
Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money
Maybe we're ragged and funny
But we'll travel the road, sharing our load - Side by side.

Yes we ain't got a barrel of money
Maybe we're ragged and funny
But we'll travel along, singing a song - Side by side.

Now, here's the twist............
We got married last Friday.
My new wife stood be side me
When the guest's are all gone, we stood there alone - Side by side
She said now that we're wed Fred
Why don't we go upstairs to bed, Fred
Then her false teeth and hair She laid on the chair - Side by side

One padded bra to follow (cross me heart)
One glass eye so small
Then she screwed her left leg off
And stuck it on the chair by the wall -
Oh blimey I stood there broken hearted
Because most of my wife had de parted
So I slept on the chair, cause there was more of her there - Side by side

SYLVEST / The Big Strong Man:
Have you heard about the big strong man (What Man)
He lives in a caravan
Have you heard about the Jeffrey-Johnson fight
Oh, what a hell of a fight
You can take all the heavy weights you got (What's he got)
We got a lad who can beat the whole lot
He used to be "Galways" doorman,
Now he's gonna fight George Foreman

CHORUS
He's my brother Sylvest (What's he got)
He's got a row of 40 medals on his chest (Big Chest)
He killed 50 barmen in the west, - he needs no rest
Heck of a man (Hell's fire)
don't push (Just shove)
Plenty room for you and me
He's got an arm (Got an arm),
like a leg, (Ladies leg)
and a punch that would sink a battle ship (bull-shit)
It takes all the army and the navy, to put the wind up Sylvest.

Well now, he thought he'd take a trip to Italy (Italy)
And he thought that he'd go by sea (By sea)
He jumped off the harbor in New York,
And he swam like a man from Cork
He saw the Lusitiania in distress (What'd he do)
He shoved the Lusitania up is dress (Big dress)
He drank all the water in the sea
And he walked all the way to Italy.

CHORUS

Well then, he thought he'd take a trip to old Japan (Hi song)
So they brought out the big brass band (Brass band)
He played every instrument they got
What a lad he played the whole lot
Now the old church bell did ring (Ding dong)
and the old church choir did sing (Sing song)
They all came out to bid farewell to my big brother Sylvest.

DICEY RILEY:
CHORUS
Oh, poor old Dicey Riley, she has taken to the sup, (clap,clap)
and poor old Dicey Riley, she will never give it up. (clap,clap)
It's off each morning to the pop Then she stops in for another little drop,
Ah, the heart of the rowl is Dicey Riley.

She walks along Fitzgibbon street with an independent air,
And then it's down to Summer hill, at her the people stare
She says it's nearly half past one, An I'll nip in for another little one
Ah, the heart of the rowl is Dicey Riley

CHORUS

At two, pubs close and out she goes as happy as a lark
She'll find a bench to sleep it off down in St Patrick's Park.
She'll wake at five feeling in the pink and say
"Tis time for another little drink."
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Riley.

CHORUS

She'll travel far to a dockside bar to have another round
And after one or two or three she doesn't feel quite sound
And after four she's a bit unstable, after five underneath the table
The heart of the rowl is Dicey Riley.

CHORUS

Oh they carry her home at twelve o'clock as they do every night
They bring her inside, put her on the bed and then turn out the light.
Next morning she gets out of bed
and looks for a cure for her aching head
But the heart of the rowl is Dicey Riley.

CHORUS

She owns a little sweetshop at the corner of the street
And every evening after school I go to wash her feet.
She leaves me there to mind the shop,
While she nips in for another little shot
Ah, the heart of the rowl is Dicey Riley.

THE IRISH ROVER:
In the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and six,
we set sail from the Coal Quay of Cork,
we were sailing away with a cargo of bricks
for the grand city hall in New York.
We'd an elegant craft, She was rigged fore and aft
How the trade winds drove her.
She had twenty three masts and she stood several blasts
And we called her the Irish Rover

There was Barney Magee from the banks of the Lee
There was Hogan from County Tyrone
There was Roddy O'Gork who was scared stiff of work
And a chap from Westmeath named Malone
There was Slugger O'Toole who was drunk as a rule
Fighting Bill Tracy from Dover
And your man Mick McCann from the banks of the Bann
Was the skipper of the Irish Rover.

We had one million bails of the best Sligo rags
We had two million barrels of pone
We had three million bales of old nanny goats' tails
We had four million barrels of stone
We had five million hogs and six million dogs
Seven million barrels of porter
We had eight million sides of old tanned horses hides
In the hold of the Irish Rover.

We had sailed seven years, when the measles broke out
And the ship lost her way in the fog
And that whale of a crew was reduced down to two.
'Twas myself and the skipper's old dog
Then the ship struck a rock. O Lord what a shock
Nearly tumbled over - she turned nine times around
And the poor old dog was drowned....... (Audience:Sad dog sounds)
I'm the last of the Irish Rover.

ROS'N THE BOW:
I've travelled all over this world, and now to another I go.
I know that good quarters are waiting, To welcome old Rosin du Bow

Chorus:
For to welcome old Rosin du Bow; To welcome old Rosin du Bow
I know that good quarters are waiting, To welcome old Rosin du Bow

When I'm dead and laid out on the counter;
A voice you will hear from below
Saying send down a hogshead of whiskey;
To drink with old Rosin du Bow.

Chorus:

And get a half dozen stout fellows; And stack them all up in a row
Let them drink out of halfgallon bottles; To the memory of Rosin du Bow.

Chorus:

Get this halfdozen stout fellows; And let them all stagger and go
And dig a great hole in the meadow; And in it put Rosin du Bow.

Chorus:

Get ye a couple of bottles, Put one at me head and me toe
With a diamond ring scratch upon them; The name of old Rosin du Bow.

Chorus:

I feel that old tyrant approaching; That cruel remorseless old foe
And I lift up me glass in his honour; Take a drink with old Rosin du Bow.

Chorus:

TWICE DAILY:
When I was a lad, I was very glad, To go out in the day time
With me fork, and me bottle and me cork, To help out in the haytime
And then one day, amongst the hay, I met Miss Lucy Bailey
I said my dear, are you often here, She said Yes sir, twice daily.

CHORUS
With a ran die do, a ran die day, a ran die do do randy
With ridle de and a ridle day, and a ridle de, twice daily

We had such fun in the summer sun, Lucy was so thrilling
But my friends, I could not tell if that girl was willing
And then one day, amongst the hay, as we were working gaily
She ups and trips and her drawers near ripped ....
And I went there twice daily

CHORUS

Now Lucy's dad, he was very mad, he chased me round the hay barn,
He said my son, now you've had your fun,
the time has come to pay now,
My girl will wed, the old fellow said as he waved his shotgun gaily
If you don't he said, where I'll put the lead, you won't sit there twice daily.

CHORUS

So the very next day in the month of may, we held a ceremony
We paid off the Vicar with a gallon of liquor and road to church on a pony
To Lucy's joy we had a boy, he's such a little darlin
He's round and fat like a Cheshire Cat, and perky as a Starlin'

CHORUS
.
So now I'm old, my story's told, 20 years together
And still we stray where we used to play
in the old time summer weather.
And kids' we've got, 12 or more, we go on quite gaily
Though I'm old and grey, still I get my way, and I go there twice daily.

THE BOG DOWN IN THE VALLEY-O:
CHORUS
Oh, Roe, the rattlin' bog, the bog down in the valley-o
Oh, Roe, the rattlin' bog, the bog down in the valley-o.

And in that bog there was a hole, A rare hole, a rattling hole,
A hole in the bog and the bog down in the valley-o

And in that hole there was a tree A rare tree, a rattlin tree
A tree in the hole, and a hole in the bog, and the bog down in the valley-o, etc.......

On that branch there was a limb
On that tree there was a branch
On that limb there was a twig
On that twig there was a nest
In that nest there was an egg
On that egg there was a bird
On that bird there was a wing
On that wing there was a feather
On that feather there was a hair
On that hair there was a flea.

SEVEN NIGHTS DRUNK:
When I came home on Monday night, as drunk as drunk can be.....
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be.
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door, where my old horse should be.
She said..........you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see.....
That's nothing but a milk cow, my mother sent to me.
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more...
But a saddle on a milk cow, sure I've never seen before.

When I came home on Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk can be.....
I saw a coat upon the hook where my old coat should be.....
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me.....
Who owns that coat upon the hood, where my old coat should be.
She said.......... you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see.....
That's nothing but a blanket, my mother sent to me
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more.....
But buttons on a blanket, sure I've never seen before.

When I came home on Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk can be.....
I saw a hat upon the chair where my old hat should be.....
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me......
Who owns that hat upon the chair where my old hat should be.
She said...........you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see.....
That's nothing but a chamber pot, my mother sent to me
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more....
But a chamber pot sized 7 1/2, I've never seen before.

When I came home on Thursday night, as drunk as drunk can be.....
I saw a pipe upon the desk where my old pipe should be.....
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me.....
Who owns that pipe upon the desk where my old pipe should be.
She said............you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see.....
That's nothing but a tin whistle, my mother sent to me.
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more...
But tobacco in a tin whistle, I've never seen before.

When I came home on Friday night, as drunk as drunk can be....
.I saw two boots beside the bed, where my old boots should be....
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me....
Who owns those boots beside the bed, where my old boots should be.
She said...........you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see......
That's nothing but geranium pots, my mother sent to me.
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more.....
But laces on geranium pots, I've never seen before.

When I came home on Saturday night, as drunk as drunk can be....
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be.....
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me......
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be.
She said........ you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see.....
That's nothing but a statue, my mother sent to me.
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more....
But a statue blowing smoke rings, sure I've never seen before.

When I came home on Sunday night, as drunk as drunk can be....
I saw a man running out the door at a little bit after three.....
I said to my wife, (Hey Wife), will you kindly tell to me.....
Who was that man running out the door at a little bit after three.
She said........ you drunken fool you silly old fool still you cannot see.....
That's just the tax collector, the crown has sent to me.
Well many a road I've traveled, a hundred miles or more.....
But an Englishman who can last all night, sure I've never seen before.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na nah!